ready, set, go!

When they say that everything happens at once, they're not kidding! So far this summer has been a blur of both obligations and fun times, and needless to say not a whole lot of rest for the weary. Both Mo and I have been wishing for just a moment where there didn't seem like a clock or calender event didn't rule our lives. At times we've even discussed just falling off the grid for awhile and you know the saying: "live off love" :) And yes, I realize that's not realistic at all - but I do know that there are a lot of people out there that both think and live out of the box and I'm not opposed to flirting with those ideas now and again. As for reality, we both are feeling the pangs of starting another semester in a few weeks. Mo is lined up to finally GRADUATE this December (yeahhhh!) and myself to continue on with my graduate degree which I'm about 1/4 of the way through. I've been feeling a lot of things about going back to school (after my 8 month baby hiatus) but the thing that sticks out the most to me are the feelings of conflict. I am torn in two directions that are paved with "mother's guilt" and the other with "self satisfaction". I get the feeling that becoming a parent constantly challenges those two sides no matter what the choice or circumstance. Part of me feels sickened with the idea that Elias will have to be at daycare more hours a week so I can meet my obligations in school, while the other part of me feels excitement to continue on. It's like an internal Jekyll and Hyde conversation that makes one side hurt while the other feels pleasure. Honestly, it sucks! I'm haunted with the idea that "he'll never be this young again" while also feeling like I've waited long enough to be in a career I have a passion for...guess we'll just have to take it one step at a time and see what happens. Really what it comes down to is that both of us have a lot of potential that hasn't been tapped into and we owe it to ourselves, our son and our growing family to meet that mark...it's just not an easy juggle in the process.

As for little Hercules, well he's certainly living up to his name! As my babysitter eloquently put it today: "he's an 8 month old trapped in a one year old's body!". Which basically means that he's so big and strong for his age that he often gets frustrated with the things he can't do (because of balance, dexterity, practice) that he's certainly BIG enough to do...like walking! Just yesterday I had to put his 12 month clothes away in a bin. He's wearing 18 month clothes now! But honestly, this month alone has marked the biggest changes and growth in Elias. It's almost on a daily basis that he's doing something new or exciting. Honestly, it's really scarey because he's changing and maturing at such a lightening speed I'm starting to feel like my little baby is slowly disappearing and in his place is this little ready-to-be toddler. It's so much fun to have the interaction and comprehension grow between us. I can only imagine what is to come! So anyways, since there's been so many new things that he's done lately it seemed best to document them. Here are a few pictures as evidence that my baby is growing up too fast!

Last month we had "uh oh" which now is his favorite word! Mostly mumbled in the early morning hours and when he takes a poop while sitting in his car seat or walker (smart kid). He will mimic you if you say "uh uh uh uh ohhh..." Which I have to admit is pretty cool because it's like were communicating in Morris code or something. Anyways, after "uh oh" has been YEAH!! I find that he claps his hands "yeahh!" most often when I'm changing his diaper (again smart kid, yeahh for not being in a wet diaper). Here are a few pics :)

Yeahhh! You can also see the bottom TWO teeth now - we got another one!

Next, he apparently is taking notes at daycare because he's shown an interest in holding his own bottle and knowing what a sippy cup is!


He's definitely moving and scooting around. Each day his crawling becomes more graceful - and the fact of the matter is that he now officially can get from A to B. Eeeek!

On top of that he is also starting to pull up standing. Please note the drool all over Mo in this process - but seriously BIG BOY!


Speaking of pulling up, I just so happened to have my camera the first time he pulled himself up in his crib. Blurry picture but it captures both his sense of joy and accomplishment! Seriously though, he's too tall - there's only one more level down we can take this crib!

We also had a couple of first time events - riding in a grocery cart at Wegmans and having lunch in a high chair out to eat with my Mom! He thought he was pretty cool.

And as always, the monthly photo shoot! It was a lot harder this time as he was more interested in crawling off of the futon than being my model - but we did get a few good ones.

My 8 month ham-bone...

Very interested in the camera

OK Mom, I'm ready to go!

Both captivated and seriously studying my hand and fingers doing 1-2-3-4-5....
you'll notice that he starts to stiffen a hand to mimic mine.

We're working on mama and dada at the moment. When he cries he does this "ma ma ma" thing but it doesn't seem legitimate. And man...he loves his daddy :)

Mo made them matching bracelets - too cute!

Finally, a little Mama love.

I'll be back soon :)

uh oh

Ohhh where to begin!? Waiting a whole month to get back to this blog just makes it that much harder to sum up the happenings of life. How does one come to a summation about a period of time that is packed so tight? I don't think it can be done. What I can say is that this month has certainly gone faster than the rest. Getting back into the work routine has gotten me back in touch with "real time" such as knowing what day of the week it is, getting excited about the weekends again and the anxious feeling of a "school night". And it's for damn sure that getting out of the door in the morning isn't what it used to be. Life is definitely simpler when you just have yourself to take care of! But it hasn't all been bad. Going back to work has provided a bit of a balance with personal time vs. mama time. I know Elias has really enjoyed daycare and the social interaction. Plus, the every other day routine is a good break for us both. He smiles at my sitter every time I drop him off - and that small gesture makes it that easier to leave him. I've thought a lot this month about how I'm beginning to truly understand when people have said to me, "they grow so fast". I mean, I get it. Just seven months ago he was this helpless, sleeping, cooing blob of a human and now he's sitting up and saying "uh oh!". Especially in the morning when he wakes up at some early hour - that's when we get the most "uh oh's".

Speaking of that, what do kisses, "uh oh's" and Hercules have in common? The answer is pretty obvious, Elias of course! Let me explain. The first thing Elias learned how to do (at around 3-4 months) was give big open-mouth drool kisses. The first word that he learned how to say (just recently) was "uh oh!". And as for Hercules, the little girls at daycare hand out nicknames and due to both his size and strength they decided Hercules was a good fit! So the question is - what kind of trouble are we in for one day?! A very handsome fella who gives kisses, says "uh oh" and the ladies think of as Hercules...oh man! As for his personality he's kind of an odd mix of easy going and high energy. He's generally a happy guy, is easy with new situations and hasn't shown signs of being scared of much - but boy can he go! I have a feeling walking is going to be a tiresome journey for us all. He's still a good eater and clocking in yesterday at 20 pounds, 2 oz. I think we're in for it. He also is waving "hi" on occasion and is enjoying putting things into his mouth. In summation, a good ol' strapping baby boy!

I found this online...funny!

And so, it's picture time. Here are a few from our camping trip over the 4th of July weekend up at Wellesley Island State Park. I kept saying "Ohh, I should go get my camera" and then I just didn't. I decided I would capture the moment privately - that and I was too relaxed to move ;) On the whole, we SOOOOOO enjoyed our time together!! It was the first getaway as a family and very much needed. In the last six months alone Mo has taken 24 credits...I mean that's pretty much insane and has ruled our lives! On our trip we brought no books, no laptops and no powered up phones. For a few days we rotated in and out of the river, melted into the blanket on the grass, cooked all of our meals on an open fire and just let a meditative state take us over. For anybody that has spent time on the St. Lawrence River, they know what I mean. It might be something mystical in the air - I don't know - but meditative, mystical and magical are definitely words to describe it. And so, here it goes:

Our campsite, pretty close to the river. Mo would never imagine he'd enjoy car camping so much - but put a fire pit in front of him and the pyromaniac in him is happy!

Look at my handsome boys :)

Elias enjoying Daddy's fire!

Our first sunset, I found the mo-jo to go get the camera.

After a morning of swimming I put Elias in his official 4th t-shirt, this is the only picture I got of him in it. He SLEPT like a rock our whole trip - Ringo too!




And finally, while the sky was lit with fire crackers (and after a few cocktails from the vodka Mo brought back from Poland) we took the customary sparkler shot. It was fun.

ahhhh....wish we could go back! And now, here are Elias's SEVEN month photo shoot pics! Notice the tooth!! We got one finally!

My little ham...look at him! He just laid there and smiled once the camera came out!

Sitting up pretty well on his own now.

Here's the tooth!

He's much more interested in toys now and is showing more dexterity.

Hmmmm...

...and it's in the mouth...



And finally, Elias's attempt at crawling has included a face-planted downward facing dog yoga pose! It's pretty funny to see.

And that's it. Thanks for joining me again :)

b is for Bob, 6 months old!

It's been a hard task trying to concentrate at the end of the day. The baby goes to bed around 7:00 pm which is when I finally get my down time or "me" time as they say. But really this time is a joke, as I am barely able to keep my eyes open let alone begin to write my thoughts during what feels like the wee hours of the night. I realize this sounds ridiculous, however, as the newest member of the morning-person club getting up at 6:00 am and having a productive day doesn't leave much room for intellectual stimulation. Give me a mindless TV show about vampires and I'm happy, really happy.

With that being said during this past month there have been a lot of changes, most notably that I've returned to work for three days a week. The time leading up to my return was very hard for me - thinking about missing him, worried if I picked the right sitter, anxious about how our new schedule would work out - but mostly just mourning the fact that this special time in my life was coming to an end. For almost 6 months I have had a hand in every thing that he has done, wanted or needed. I'm not saying this because I have a need for world domination, it's more that I realized once this "power" was being taken away from me how scarey it is to trust everybody else with your child. And to take it a step further, it made me realize for the first time that one day (much sooner than I realize) he will be stepping out into the world on his own. Watching him so closely during these past months has made me reflect upon the number of growing pains we experience as children, teenagers and adults. I guess I was hoping that for a moment longer, this moment...he wouldn't have to be released into any of that. Elias wakes up every day with a wide grin and cooing noises. Simply happy, just happy that we're there to kiss him and feed him (hungry boy!). He hasn't experienced any fighting or bullying or broken hearts. He doesn't carry any emotional scars or broken dreams. His being is innocence. I know I can't shelter him from life (as much as it pains me to think about what he'll go through one day) because it is my duty as a parent to enable him to become a well rounded, emotionally equipped adult. My point is that having a baby and being with that baby for so many months creates a bond like no other. He will always be my son and the time will go on and on....but nothing will ever compare to being home with your newborn and watching them grow and change before your eyes. I am so so so grateful that I had almost 6 months to marinate in his baby-ness!! It has been the hardest and most rewarding experience all wrapped into one.

A little about Elias: he continues to be a social, flirty, chatty little boy! He is the happiest when there are people around and lots to do. He's a great traveler and because he's very laid back also adaptable to new situations. He really loves music! If you sing to him or put on a song he's totally interested and usually with a big grin. He loves Day-O by Harry Belafonte and Boom-Boom-Boom by the Black Eyed Peas! Interesting choices I know. He still a routine kind of fella almost down to the mark. He's not very patient when he's hungry or his diaper is dirty - and he fights sleep because he refuses to miss a beat! He is on mark with rolling over (still spotty with rolling back) and almost sitting up on his own. He is very BIG for his age - no surprise there - coming in at 19 pounds and 28 inches!! YIKES, which is why he has been in 12 month clothing for some time now! Speaking of size, he is a very good eater and so far hasn't been picky about any fruit, veggie or cereal put in his mouth. He's still a drooling machine - but today we noticed a raised bump and cutting tooth on the bottom...could it be?! Let's hope for some relief.

And so, without further delay...here is Elias's six month (half a year!!!) photo shoot! I think he was embodying the spirit of Bob Marley (B is for Bob) because he was chill-laxing in all these shots. Yeah Mom, no problem!

His hair is getting blonder and blonder!

And his eyes are getting brighter and brighter (heart breaker, I think so)

Big daddy hands (I mean a total replica in shape and everything)

The same is true for his feet!

Big boy!

Then daddy came in and his typical daddy-grin appears! He loves the silliest games with Mo such as, throw the pillow at my face - ha. Look at the happiness.

And last but not least, there's no such thing as a photo shoot without Ringo! This dog loves the camera and gets jealous. Luckily for us he loves the baby...and the baby loves him too :)

That's all for now folks! It might be another month until I return but I do try! Next month we're going on a family car-camping trip up to Wellesley Island State Park. When I grew up my family had a camp on TI Park and I spent almost every summer there. It was a dream...I understand that more now than ever!! Both Mo and I want Elias to experience "the River" as much as possible as it's such a special place to us both. Plus, the 4th of July is my favorite holiday so I'm really looking forward to it and making Elias an official "River Rat".